Well, ghoulies, it’s been a while, but listen: we didn’t get to see the sun for like two months in SF. I know, I know, GREAT for all you vampires, but yours truly, La Hugz Bunny, is very much a sunny sort of bunny. When it suddenly came out finally last week, you know I just had to ditch out on all responsibility, throw on some sequined hotpants, and rollerskate my huge white ass over to that oceanless beach that we have here in San Frantranny, dubbed “The Manshelf”.

It’s nestled in the sweaty, green elbow of Dolores Park, Mission District, not far from Deborah Tennis’ family-run movie theatre, the Victoria. Also known as “Queen Beach” and (my favourite) “The Swish Alps”, it IS thee place to hang out and hangover, hunny. DP has stunning views, both of downtown SF, and of the half-naked menz variety too! Where else can you be offered a kaleidoscope of edible pharmadelics on an hourly basis? Get it, Dolores Park!

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So, srsly u guise, if you didn’t come to “Night of 1000 Showgirls” at the Castro Theatre, you and I sooooo can’t be friends! Jk jk but it was literally such an amazing experience that we had to get out our thesaurus and find a new word to describe how amazeballs it was, “amazeballs” itself feeling a bit overused lately. I think someone said they felt that it was “astonishing”, while others found it to be “ferosh”, and Rachael Zoe was quoted as saying that it was “bananas on a whole ‘nother level” (I’m totally kidding, she wasn’t there, but you KNOW that’s what she would’ve said if she had been there, amirite!?) Read More…

Haaaaaaaaaay, OMq u quise I totally missed u quise! Things have been pretty hectic down here at the Peach Pit. Not only is “All About Evil” sweeping it’s bat-like shadow across the nation, but we are getting ready to do our most outrageous-to-date Showgirls Midnight Mass extrava…….GANZA at the historic Castro Theatre, the gayest corner of already-pretty-gay San Fran-Crisco!

It’s being billed as a “Night of 1000 Showgirls” and it will not disappoint! Bea Dazzler showed me the list of lapdancers and let’s just say that it had to be carried in by four huge goons…on forklifts! In fact, I think it could work out that there will be one lap dancer per audience member, so be sure and buy those large popcorns folx! It’s a whole grain!

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Hey ladeez what the fuck is up? I just got back home from the absolutely HUGE INCREDIBLE UH-MAZING L.A. premiere of “All About Evil”, and boy are my arms tired! From giving handy-J’s. To top movie exec–anywayz, the point is, I had a great time and did some “networking”, as they say in The Biz.

Ooo! Ooo! I even have a blind item for you: what very Z-list total prick actor from an insanely campy B-movie was a giant baby and got physical & nearly violent with li’l ol’ Hugz when I wouldn’t let him into the lobby early? Dude was pissed! Haha it wuz awesome! I have to give him props for maintaining a stinkeye even after the movie was over. I fully expect that he is somewhere, making a voodoo doll of me, right this very moment! Read More…

OMG q3T iiT MiiZ ThaNqz! Did you guise all survive Gay Pride and all that jizz? Me personally, I was in a Level 10 blackout for four days, so yeah, I had fun! And we here at Peaches Christ Headquarters are about to enable you, gentle reader, to keep les bons temps rouler-ing through the July 4th holiday!

Did you you know that, not only is it our great nation’s burfday this weekend, but it’s also the incredible return of Midnight Mass to the Bridge Theatre in good ol’ SF? That’s right! For two life-altering, door-blowing, eyelid-peeling-back nights, YOU are invited to completely fry your wig with us, as we remount our chimerical spectacle, Prince and The Revolution’s “Purple Rain”!!! If you haven’t seen this legendary show before, then prepare to be super-depressed for the rest of your life becuz nothing will ever be as rad this show is!

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Hey Hay Heigh! What’s up ladeez? I can’t believe it’s already been two weeks since I last cracked open the mailbag for a lookie-loo. I wish I could say that that’s it’s been all coffins and cobwebs here at the PC offices and it totally has! Truth be told tho–I think all this free popcorn is going gaily forward to my thighs. My girdle has been a little tight lately! Okay, a lot tight.

It is sooooo delicious tho–and chock-full of dietary fiber! Peaches’ personal assistant, Shegore tells me that they do have a gym here. I’m not sure what you are supposed to do with all the racks and chains; and all the screaming and groaning is a tetch disturbing, but maybe I’ll take a stab at it!  Anyhoo, now my fat ass is gonna answer some letters: Read More…

Haaaaaay ladeez! So I’m more than a little like TOTALLY PEEING IN MY PANTS EXCITED to welcome you to my second column here at PeachesChrist.com!  What an amazing two weeks it been, what with all the letters pouring in! I am literally sitting on sacks of mail as I’m typing this! Well, okay…i’ll admit some of that mail might be NSF notices from my bank, okay okay, it’s mostly that, but still!

Keep them coming kidz–I am here to answer all of your life’s little delimmas, no matter how socially odious and career-assassinating. Let’s see what’s in mailbag, shall we? Bill, bill, bill, bill, voodoo doll catalogue, bill…oh! Here’s a good one: Read More…