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Saturday, July 12, 2003 ( 3:50 AM ) Martiny Gavin Newsom You're the One I never thought twice about Gavin Newsom until I did a gig with him. You see, as a featured star of the Gay etc. Parade, I brushed elbows (and other unmentionables) with all the hoity toity San Franciscans. Willie Brown, the Old Twins, Alex Fagan, Danielle Steele, Sharon, and the rest. Anyways, I was riding in a car with my dear friend Peaches when all of a sudden we heard word of a ruckus ahead. That hunkofa dreamboat, Gavin Newsom, was attacked! He is so sensitive. All I saw was people 100 feet in front of his Mercedes luxury convertible showing a banner. He was so sensitive that he fell back in his seat!! It must have been very scary because I read in the papers he was attacked. But no one touched him! I found some of his hairplugs on the parade route. As a celebrity I did have the chance to return them but instead I put them in my scrap book that I got at JoAnne Fabrics. Once again, Thanx JoAnne!! # ( 3:25 AM ) Martiny I know many of you have been asking about my latest letter, so here goes. # Tuesday, June 24, 2003 ( 10:46 PM ) Martiny Mar-Movie Star! by Martiny I am a Movie Star! On Friday I was invited by the International Society of Great Films to give a lecture about my newest movie, A Nightmare On Castro Street. I play a beautiful yet victimized lady, which was no stretch. In the movie I am chased many times by Squeaky Blonde--a tranny! I run away but in the end I get caught and killed. It is very sad! I noticed everyone in the auditorium crying and crying. It reminded me of the time that Liberace died and all the gays lowered their rainbow wind-socks to half mast and said boo-hoo! I was happy that I was there to comfort people and say it's okay, I'm not really dead! After my big movie they threw a gala party for me at the Cinch Saloon. Many people asked for my autograph, because I am a movie star! I don't sign them though because it is bad luck. A lady on the Richmond bus told me that bad luck follows you around if you give people things such as a picture or a book or a handwriting sample, so I don't do it. So don't ask! Some people got very drunk at my party. I do not approve of drunk people. They always want to talk with their boozy breath and paw at my pretty dress. I say don't touch the merchandise! And, I had on a very expensive dress that I got at the Fashion Bug. # Saturday, June 14, 2003 ( 12:09 AM ) Martiny Jobs by Martiny Today I tried to buy a cheese sandwich and discovered I had no money, so I started my job hunt. So I packed up my puppets, my glue gun and a roll of yarn and took my show on the road!! I hitched a ride to Daly City and then took the bus that goes to JoAnne Fabrics. I'm dying to work at JoAnne Fabrics because everyone there is "crafty" (ha ha). Whenever I go there the lights go out and everyone hides, but I know they're inside, so in I go! I tag the workers--YOU'RE IT! YOU'RE IT! Once our game is over it is time to get down to business. The business of crafts. Usually I just go about my puppet demo, but this time I asked to speak to Ms. Fabrics herself. When I was told Joanne is on the phone, I asked when I could start working there and showed the lady a note from my job coach saying I would like one job. The lady said there are no jobs here, so I asked her if she had a cheese sandwich. # Sunday, June 08, 2003 ( 12:54 PM ) Martiny I have been working very hard on my website and it is about done! I am so excited I could scream. So I did. Peaches thought I had left my ice cream out again. # Friday, May 16, 2003 ( 11:20 PM ) Martiny Boobies by Martiny We babysat for a dog, Twiggy. Twiggy liked to chew on things. One day I rose to hear such a clatter. My friend and roommate Peaches was screaming her head off!!!! Twiggy was chewing on her boobie. There was birdseed all over the floor of Peaches' room, although if you ask me it was hard to tell the difference from any other day!!! Then the next day, I was ironing my puppets when I heard a strange noise coming from the parlor. I noticed Twiggy had a hold of something brown and fishy-smelling. At first I thought it was a bread bowl with clam chowder, which I like to keep in the freezer for when me and Peaches play Fisherman's Wharf, but it was yet another boobie! A big foam one. I then fashioned a boobie out of a puppet for poor, boobless Peaches as she had a song to sing at the Trannyshack that night. Once again, puppets saved the day!!! # ( 12:07 AM ) Martiny Today I ate some Oreos. Well 26. A man was trying to sue Oreos because they have transfats. I wonder what he has against transfat!!!! # Tuesday, May 13, 2003 ( 5:08 PM ) Martiny I am very crabby today. I have not had my nap and there is no chocolate pudding. I think I will make myself some cheese blackout so I feel better. # ( 4:34 PM ) Martiny I am Martiny. Can you believe Peaches let me get a website? I think I will make a Peaches Puppet! # |
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